Two Hours at a Time Just Isn't Enough

Coherent thoughts apparently dont come easily when I'm sleeping a maximum of two hour stretches. . . Last night I was just plain confused all night long. I never was quite sure if I was awake or asleep, feeding Jayci or dreaming about feeding Jayci, hearing Jayci cry or dreaming about her crying . . . I dragged Adam into my confusion as well when I asked him "when did you go get Jayci?" As he responded with a sleepy and also confused "I dont think I did" . . . i looked down to realize I was, in fact, not holding Jayci. Strange the tricks your mind can play when you're constantly in the state between sleep and wake.

Anyways, all that to warn you that you shouldn't expect too much from this post. But I've been thinking a lot about motherhood, and the fact that little Jayci is actually my daughter - it almost doesnt seem real! The thing is, I have this personality that tends to worry . . . a lot. I stress over the fact that maybe if I pick her up too soon when she cries, she might never be able to put herself to sleep, or she might ALWAYS need me to pick her up when she cries. Or what if I feed her every time she acts hungry rather than on a schedule - Won't she turn into a horribly spoiled brat? What if I hold her too much, or too little? Yikes!

But then we were reading the story of Noah from Jayci's fantastic children's Bible (yes we already read her bedtime stories - what? I like reading) I was struck by the faith of Noah and his trust in the Lord even when he had no idea what he was doing or what God was doing really . . . I realized that I need to relax and have a little faith in the Lord - both in how He is looking after Jayci, and how he is equipping Adam and I as parents. Of course, there's no guarantee that I won't forget this important truth tomorrow when she wont stop crying, or when she gets sick; but for right now, I am resting in the truth of His goodness and care!

Jayci Madison Stanley

Jayci made her arrival today! She was born at 2:32 pm, 6 lbs 12ozs and 19.5 inches (For all our Canadian friends and family, that is 3.03kg and 49.5cm long),

Labor and delivery went smoothly and both mama and baby are doing well :-) We think she's just absolutely beautiful, but then we might be a little biased!
We've uploaded lots of pictures for you to enjoy right here and dont worry, I'm a picture fiend so I'm sure there will be more on the way!

Tears and Pregnancy (aka raging hormones)

For those of you who know me (which is probably all of you because I'm not sure who else would read our blog), you know that I can tend to be a somewhat emotional person on a good day. I blame my mom, who bursts into tears anytime I even mention her grandchild-to-be's name. But I digress . . .

Add in my pregnancy hormones, and I tend to be what I would describe as "slightly" irrational in my emotional levels. For instance, the other day I decided to mop the floor (this decision was not the result of any desire to clean but rather as a desire not to be embarrassed by the muddy pawprints all over the new hardwoods when friends came over later that day). After what felt much like running a marathon (although it was really just running a mop over a not-so-large floor) I collapsed on the couch in exhaustion to enjoy the fruits of my labor.

Just moments later, the dogs ran back across the gleaming hardwoods, leaving muddy prints all over. I burst into tears; or rather, loud ugly sobs. It was hopeless, just HOPELESS. What was the point of cleaning the floors? In fact, what was the point of doing anything at all? Clearly, I was a complete and utter failure . . .

Eventually, I was able to pull myself together and cheer up by watching about 8 episodes of the House marathon (although I cried at some point in every one) and watching my Bulldogs win (particularly THIS part cheered me up)

Anyhow, that evening during my quiet time I stumbled across this verse: “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8 What a beautiful, amazing promise! God cares about every single one of my tears, even those irrational crazy pregnant ones. And you know what? That makes things seem a whole lot less hopeless after all!

Nesting?

I've always heard that one sign the baby will be here soon is that you will have a strong "nesting instinct" or desire to clean and prepare your house for your baby. So far, I've managed to avoid urges to clean my house because the baby's on the way (surprise, surprise). Actually, anytime I've felt even the slightest inkling that I might want to (or should) clean something, that urge has quickly been suppressed by overwhelming feelings of exhaustion and realizations of how large my belly is and how much it gets in the way. However, I HAVE had the urge to decorate (which is just way more fun than cleaning) And as a result, we now have finished hardwood floors! (to be fair, Adam played a much larger role in finishing those floors than I did. . . ) and a fully decorated and functional nursery. All that's missing is baby Jayci!