I'm sitting here watching sweet Jayci sleep. This is a rare treat for several reasons 1)She never sleeps. I think she may be training her body to be ok with simply not napping and sleeping a whopping 5 or 6 hours a night. and 2)When she FINALLY does sleep and it's not in my arms, I quickly jump into action doing the laundry, vacuuming etc (ok or I nap too . . .)
I am fascinated and infatuated with her little red-rimmed eyes and blue-veined eye lids. Her chest rises and falls rhythmically. I cannot help but smile as her own mouth flickers in a sleep-induced smile and her little hands unfurl and lay limply in utter relaxation. Quiet Chris Tomlin music filling the room. Rarely lately have I felt as worshipful as I do in this moment. Awe of my own Creator and the Creator of such a perfect little being rises in me quietly but fully.
"There's a Peace I've come to know/though my heart and flesh may fail/There's an anchor for my soul/I can say "It is well"/Jesus has overcome/and the grave is overwhlemed/The victory is won/He is risen from the dead/And I will rise when He calls my name/no more sorrow/no more pain."
What a beautiful promise for where I am right now. My Saviors knows me and knows my needs so intimately. He knew I needed this moment. A moment of stillness when the awareness of His presence, His peace, would wash over me like a cleansing, healing flood.
Even in the midst of my inadequacies, my shortcomings, my inability to get my daughter to sleep, He is there. He is worthy and He loves ME regardless. So I will rise when He calls my name without sorrow or pain, knowing that His wings and His strength is all I need to make it through this day and the next and the next. . .