Saturday, July 11, 2009

Unrealistic Expectations and Excessive Pouting

*First of all, thanks so much to all of you who watched my video and entered the giveaway! I will post the winner later today!

I feel as though some of you think more highly of me than you should. Because let me tell you, my heart has NOT been in the right place this week. I have been selfish and whiny and bratty and annoyingly pouty (hey maybe some of the campers have been rubbing off on me!)

See, I have this problem with UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS and unusually high levels of “hissy fit” when those expectations aren’t met. I think I may have had this problem from an extremely young age, considering one of my earliest memories is of throwing a full-blown tantrum at Disney World because I THOUGHT we were going to start with Space Mountain, but instead we started with the Teacup Ride. I mean can you imagine the gall of my parents to do that to me? Ahem.

Anyhow, back to camp and my unrealistic expectations. See my job title at camp has always been “hang out with the kids” oh and I do a little office work on the side (plus working for my dad part-time – I added that in just in case he reads this and panics that I forgot I am on HIS payroll still . . . ) Basically, that has meant a LOT of time for me to build relationships, swim with kids, talk to them about life, race them down the slide, and lose to them in basketball.

As it turns out, however, this year is a little different. Why? Oh just a little something we like to call JAYCI. Who knew having a child took up so much time? Not me apparently, because in my head this year of camp was going to be just like the last two years. And it’s not. I’ve found myself having a really bad attitude because I’m just not having enough FUN at camp. And that’ s what it’s all about right? Me having fun. Or not.

Tonight, I decided to walk down to the kids who were camping out to roast (and consume) a few or six smores. Because nothing drowns my sorrow like large amounts of sugar. (Speaking of sugar, some nice people from Kellar Williams brought us at least – no exaggerating seriously – 200 cupcakes. I might or might not have eaten four so far today.)

Wow, I am seriously darting down the rabbit trails today aren’t I? Sorry for all the rambling. Where was I? Oh yes, the smores. So I was walking down the VERY DARK path from the “fort” to the campsite, and I looked up at the stars. And y’all? It laid me flat-out. (Literally, I totally tripped) But figuratively too; because it turns out that there are WAY more stars out there than I usually see. And God knows them each by name.

Walking under those stars, with lightening from a receding storm flickering in the distance and a cacophony of frogs and bugs all around me, I was reminded that we serve a God who is both creative and powerful. And He loves me. And He loves Jayci. And He loves each and every one of these kiddos. And He wants us to love each other. And THAT is what this is all about.

7 comments:

  1. Your blog is an inspiration on so many levels!!! I love reading your posts!!! God is good!

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  2. Preach it sista! I just love ya girl!! I am so proud of the work ya'll are doing there (the interview and video was AWESOME, truly). God's work there is SO evident. I love it.

    And seriously, I want to hang out. :-)

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  3. I'd be more worried if you weren't missing spending all your time with the kids! And oh yes HE loves you!!

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  4. Kids change everything, don't they. (But in a good way.) My husband and I were talking the other day about how it's hard to imagine life any differently.

    I love it when God puts something in our path (our trips us :) to make us stop and appreciate his creation and his purpose for us. Great insight for all of us you shared here!

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  5. You have a right to be alittle overwhelmed this year...you added a completely different dimension to camp and you are so incredibly brave to do that! I can't imagine how difficult it must be!!!! I'm sure you're doing a wonderful job though and by the way there are days I wanna hang out,play and go to bed too so you're not too bad off...at least if you are then you're not the only one :)

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  6. I will leave others to encourage you, but I'll tell you how you encouraged me.

    I have a kid that throws hissy fits about Space Mountain (and every other hill, ditch, and mudpuddle). To see that you grew up to be a responsible adult who cares for others while straddling a baby on her hip in GEORGIA hot weather gives me hope that mine will grow up too.

    And be perfectly normal.

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  7. I think it is completely natural that you are feeling the way you are. And believe me, we are all guilty of a little pouting from time to time!! Don't beat yourself up too much about it!

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