I mentioned that this past weekend, I had the chance to hear Beth Moore speak on insecurity. Her message, and the entire experience, was just fantastic because every word was exactly what I needed to hear. I have so many insecurities, it's a little ridiculous really. It has been interesting for me to read the blogs of some other girls (some of whom I even got to meet this weekend) who wrote about how they struggle with insecurities of their own. Yet, when I look at all of these girls, I can NO reason for them to be insecure; in fact, I spend so much of my time comparing myself to them and worrying about how they are so much cuter, better dressed, funnier, prettier, skinnier, and blah, blah, blah . . .
Anyways, I have plenty I could say on the subject of insecurity, and how much I learned about my own struggles with it, throughout the weekend. Luckily for you, I'll spare you all those gory details (for now at least). There was, however, one thing in particular that I cannot get out of my head from the simulcast.
It was funny because Beth said something that I'm pretty sure she stole from my "future blog post" file. Never mind that it only exists in my head. Because last week at church, our pastor mentioned in passing how John always refers to himself as "the disciple whom Jesus loved." When he said it, I had this fleeting thought about how that seemed a little arrogant. Yet, when I took the time to really think about it, all John was doing was stating the Truth of who He was. Because Jesus did love Him. And I let my mind wander for a little while (sorry Jimmy!) about how powerful it would be if I lived out of the Truth that I am the daughter whom Jesus loves. And what if I could get my kiddos downtown, and my own daughter, to live their lives grounded in the Truth that each and every one of them are the one whom Jesus loves . . .
Then Beth said the same exact thing. I kid you not. It was weird really. She went on to talk about how if we recognize our true identity, we will be freed up to love other people. Because people who know they are loved, love. People who are forgiven, forgive. Those who know how deeply they have been covered in grace, will extend grace to those around them.
And y'all, I was hit like a freight train with the fact that this is exactly what our kiddos (well and ALL of us) need to learn. One of the girls we work with told me the other day that she never tells anyone she loves them (because I tell them all how much I love them all the time and she asked me if I noticed that she never says it back). When I asked her why, she said "it just don't feel right." The problem is that she doesn't fully believe that she is LOVED, so she doesn't know how to love other people. Think what a difference it would make in her life, in all of our lives, if we were so secure in our status as LOVED that we were willing to make ourselves open and vulnerable by showing love to those around us.
The thing about it is that walking out of our security in Christ looks different in every life. For me, it means a willingness to give up my "stuff," to let go of those things I've been dependent on for security (because what are they but idols designed to mask my unbelief?) For the girl we work with, maybe it will mean walking a different path. Maybe recognizing her worth and security in Christ means she will value herself enough to finish school. To go to college. To stop the cycle of welfare and prison and poverty. . .
My prayer for each and every kid we work with, for myself, for my family and friends, and for Jayci is that we would take every step in the security that comes from knowing that we are the beloved disciples. The daughter or son whom Jesus LOVES. Because if we grasp that fully, I'm pretty sure our lives are going to look dramatically different. And that might just change the world.
*A few post-script notes:
1-Here's the ONE picture I took this weekend. ONE. Seriously, good job Becca.
*With the lovely Megan and Jenna. Aren't they just the cutest things? Some other new friends who aren't in my one picture: Erin, Mandi, Lauren, Faith, Dina, Rachel, Amy, Lianna
2-Don't forget that today's the last day to enter my giveaway for some natural bug killer. Which sounds lame, but is actually pretty cool.