I can still remember with surprising clarity and intimacy the emotions that rushed through me the very moment they first laid Jayci on my chest. Joy, fear, excitement, longing, hope, a little pain, and love. Lots of love.
I think I've felt that same mix of emotions on a daily basis ever since. I am filled with joy when I hear her call: "mommy, hold you." Or when she declares "I got it," when I fetch something for her or help her up (Well, I laugh but also bite my lip to keep from reminding her that, actually, I was the one who got it . . . ) I feel frustrated when she throws her 29th tantrum of the day at 10:00am. And a little panicked when I look at a picture of her and see a toddler rather than a baby. Frightened at my own shortcomings when I lose my cool or don't know how to potty train her.
But in the midst of whirling emotions, one stands head and shoulders above all else: overwhelming love. Finally I have been given a tiny glimpse at the Agape love our Heavenly Father has for us. A peek into the Divine.
The theme at I Heart Faces this week is “celebrating mom.” I knew right away that this was the picture I wanted to enter, because every time I see it, I am reminded of everything that motherhood entails. Being a mom is such a balancing act. We have to lift them up, while anchoring them securely and safely on our shoulders. We need to connect with them, to ensure they know we are present, we love them, and that we are keeping them safe. But we also need to give them space to grow, room to fly, and sometimes even fall.
The beginnings of growth on a budding tree, the bright blue of a cloudless day: all speak of promise, of hope. And sometimes hope and love are all a mom has to go on. Love for her child, and hope for the future.
So for all the moms out there, I pray that you will be filled with abundant HOPE and overflowing LOVE in knowing that you are making a difference. That what you are doing MATTERS profoundly, and that Christ is pleased with the work, and the mission, that you are fulfilling as a mom.