Friday, June 4, 2010

Transplant

Our house is almost all the way bare now. All that remains is a few odds and ends that we weren’t sure how to classify and box up, but couldn’t bear to part with; and the dust bunnies. Because let’s be honest, they’ve been a constant companion to us wherever we are. I was surprised when I walked in and saw it empty at the feeling I got in my stomach, like the wind had been knocked out of me. Sad and nostalgic with a little longing to stay; catching me off guard because this move is exactly the thing I have been praying and hoping and waiting for. But looking at what has been our home for the past few years, I can feel nothing but gratitude for all the things the Lord has done here. For the ways He has been faithful, the things He has taught us and the roots He has grown in our hearts, lives, and community.

This was our first house, our first big decision as a couple. It was the place we came home to after our first jobs, after changing jobs, after long hours spent doing ministry downtown. It was a refuge for our kiddos, a place where their eyes were opened to what a home looks like. A place where we painted a nursery, prepared carefully, childproofed everything, and finally brought our precious baby girl. The place we began to dream, the place we saw how the kiddos lives were changed by encountering family and home. Where we built a room for the boys, where we hung big family pictures, and watched movies, and ate lots and lots of ice cream and cheese. The place we played games together, invited friends over for barbeques, had Jayci’s first birthday party. The place I nested, decorated, planned, enjoyed a whole lot, and cleaned a little less.

Tears are welling in my eyes right now as I think about His faithfulness in providing people just down the street, and in our community, who could support and encourage and carry me on this journey of mommy-hood. Honestly, I’m not sure I would have made it through without being exactly where we were, surrounded by these specific neighbors, family, and friends.
I am convinced that God is bringing us into a new and exciting chapter of our lives, but I know the reality is that we cannot open a new door and walk through it without leaving some precious and beloved things behind. And I am grieving some of those things right now. But it is a grieving process that ends with hope. Because I am certain of what we hope for, and sure of the things we cannot yet see. I know that just as God hand-picked this house for us, He is preparing a place for us downtown. I am continually amazed because every single time, He gives us the exact grace and wisdom we need for the moment.

First He taught us to let go, to jump in and take steps of obedience in following Him. He opened our hearts and minds to the idea that He had something more for us as we followed Him. And that no matter what that might look like, our answer was “yes.” Then He continued to grow our faith and dependence on Him as we stepped into full-time ministry. And then He taught us a boatload about patience, about planting seeds and gently cultivating and tending those seeds as they slowly and grew into something with LIFE. And now? Now He’s teaching us to trust Him. Because we have been growing roots in this home He gave us, we have been cultivated, strengthened, pruned, and readied. But now it’s time to be transplanted. To be uprooted and re-planted somewhere new, somewhere bigger and wilder, where we might not have the protective insulation of our cute little potted home. But we are trusting that He knows what we need and where we can best grow into the Oaks of Righteousness that He desires us to be.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.
They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.

-Isaiah 61:3-4

12 comments:

  1. And Oaks of Righteousness you will be because He has given you all you need and will continue to be faithful. I'm so proud of you! Y'all are amazing and will be so blessed by this move but I also understand the heartache with leaving your first home. We'll be praying, praying, praying.

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  2. I am so glad you are my friend. You are a blessing, more than you will ever know. Thank you for sharing your heart.

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  3. You amaze me. Part of me is really, really sad that you are moving, because at least you were close enough for us to get together once, and I harbored hope that we could do it again. But... God has big plans for you (as He does for all of us if we'll just listen), and I surely cannot wait to see what is in store for you. Blessings, dear friend... and you still won't be so far away that we can't meet for lunch sometime!

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  4. I know just how you feel! It made me tear up a little bit remembering going through those same feelings when we moved a few weeks ago. What are you doing in the meantime until you find someplace downtown, or did you already find a place?

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  5. Whimzie told me about yall and I understand your feelings well. I will be praying for you as you make such an incredible move and change in your lives. I love the verses you posted - they encouraged me this morning. We will be praying for y'all.

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  6. Proud of you and praying for you and looking forward to hearing about what God's doing through your lives.

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  7. Sorry, I have been MIA for a while and am just now catching up...Yay that you are moving like you had hoped. Assuming you were able to sell your house. Wishing you well as you move into your new diggs. I can't imagine how hard it is to leave your home. As much as you wish to have something else, it is always hard to leave what is familiar. Hopefully by next summer I will be feeling the same emotions as you. Good luck with everything!!!

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  8. What an amazing post! I know you will enjoy your new home and grow in it the same as you have your first!

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  9. Good luck with your move! God has great things in store for your family in a new home!

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  10. This almost made me cry just imagining what you must feel to leave your house.. I know it must be oh so hard, but just think about the road God is leading you guys on now. You are on to do some great things Becca!!

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  11. Such an exciting time, embrace it! Great things are ahead!!!! :)

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  12. praying for this transition. know you are so excited but am sure there is anxiety too! cant wait to hear all about camp! :) what an amazing retreat and renewing that will be for you too!

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