Monday, November 22, 2010

I'd Say It's Half-Empty

I try to keep things somewhat upbeat around here. Or at the very least sarcastic and (at least a little bit) funny, even if I'm upset or down about something. Right now, however, this is the most I can muster up. And any encouragement you feel like giving would be appreciated. I also will accept cheese dip and diet coke. Because nothing cheers me up like eating my emotions.

See this buying-a-house-in-the-hood process is taking a really long time. Much longer than I had planned. I even had all my winter sweaters in a box, which is now somewhere in the back/bottom of a stuff-to-the-brim-storage room in my parents basement. Which means I've been wearing the same fleece (Adam's) nearly every day that it's been chilly lately. If only we didn't need every last penny of our money for the down payment on our house, I'd just buy some new winter clothes. Eating and shopping, those are my healthy ways for dealing with disappointment.

I found out today that we had to push the closing date back by another 2 weeks - making it dangerously close to Christmas. Keep in mind, too, that this is just the closing date -- then we still have to make it livable. Remember, there's no windows and there was a crack addict arrested in there a week ago with a prostitute (aka we need to seriously rip out that flooring - ick). Basically, I cannot understand why God would lead us here and then allow the entire process to be so riddled with stalling and mistakes and waiting and UGH! Anyways, I know in my head that I can trust His perfect timing, but it's hard to live that out when I'm tired of living in my parents' basement. When I feel like we're letting so many people down. I know my parents' probably want their clean and quiet house back (because if you haven't guessed, we are neither clean nor quiet). And my sister is moving back home, so I'm sure she's not thrilled that she will rudely awakened at about 5am by a loud tantrum-throwing toddler. Not to mention the two friends who will be living with us downtown but are stuck waiting because of all the MESS going along with this stupid loan. Seriously, we have the money and want to buy a house in a bad neighborhood to try and make it better. You'd think they would WANT to make this happen.

Ok rant/vent over. I apologize for that. Please don't stop following my blog. I will be back to my usual self in mid-December once we finally close on the house. Oh I kid, surely my attitude will turn around before then. Let's hope.

I think that sometimes God allows stuff like this to happen simply because He wants me to turn to Him not just when I'm sad, or when I'm joyful, or when I need something -- but even when my heart is ugly. And I need His holy presence to calm and re-focus me. Because it always happens at times when my best friend moved to Texas, another friend lost her phone, and another is in Chicago . . . so I realize that the only place I feel like I have to turn is the one place I should have turned in the first place -- to HIM.

Now that I'm done venting, here's my I Heart Faces entry this week. Because I am nothing if not good at transitions. Ha. Plus, how can I NOT be cheered up looking at this sweet little thing? She cracks me up. And even when she drives me crazy, I am eternally grateful that she is my daughter!

(LOTS of paper around, and yet she chooses to paint herself - naturally)

*And for the love, please enter my giveaway - y'all are going to hurt my Frank's feelings if you don't!

20 comments:

  1. Aww girlie - I'm so sorry you're disheartened right now.

    I've been through this house-buying thing a few times and there always seem to be kinks (living in a broken down manufactured home while waiting on yet ANOTHER home right now - so I hear ya).

    Sometimes, God's timing has more to do with OTHER people, than with us. Perhaps there's just someone else who needs to fall into this picture and your house closing is the tool God is using for it.

    Praying for His perfect timing - and for special blessings as you wait.

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  2. And I would totally enter your giveway - except that I wouldn't want to waste good music on a deaf person ;) (Hey, if *I* can't laugh about it, who can?)

    And the pic of Jaycie is adorable as always!

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  3. What a sweet photo & I LOVE that she choose to paint herself instead of the paper! :D

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  4. Love your little artist... miss you and praying for your wait! When our expectations (closing dates, etc.) aren't met it is easy to get down! In the rear view mirror it will all be crystal clear. Love you and praying for you! We will be tootling around town Wednesday... maybe we can see you! If we miss you, then we definitely need to hang out over Christmas (maybe help you move/settle in!) :) Love you, friend!

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  5. I'm sending you so many prayers today. I hope that things will get worked out soon for you. I completely understand the importance of your own space!!

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  6. :( I'm so sorry you're down! I know it's ROUGH buying/selling/moving, but it'll be SO worth it in the end!

    Love the photo! She is utterly adorable!

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  7. Seriously, who needs paper? My daughter once chose to color her lunch instead! :-) In 20 years, she will be so glad you captured this moment and in 20 years, todays trials will be forgotten (or at least turned into a good story!) Good Luck!

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  8. Oh Bec : ( I am sorry for your sadness. I wish I could do something to make it better. I can't think of a thing!

    I love that God loves us when we are high and happy and low and in despair! Always.
    His love is enduring. Through thick and thin.

    I eat my troubles away as well. Very healthy way to live life : )

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  9. Hope you feel better soon. The shot is gorgeous. But of course she paints on herself instead!!!! Beautiful light and color.

    Erika B

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  10. Buying a house is always awful. I hope the next few weeks are easier for you.

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  11. Oh Becca, please don't feel that you should apologize for being truthful in what you feel. I think you wrote honestly about where you are at right now but I didn't find it negative. I pray that you find peace and hope in this situation, it doesn't sound easy at all.
    God bless you and yours.
    Colleen

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  12. Becca, I read Rachel's comment and I think she has a really great point about God's timing may have something more to do with other people than with us. God's tools...that's profound when I think about it. We are God's tools as well as circumstances being God's tools.
    Looking at your little sweetie can oly bright your day. Delightful shot for "paper".
    Sue

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  13. Sorry, My fingers meant to say "only brighten your day"
    (:0)

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  14. BOY DO I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!? We were trying to refinance the house, which was deeded over to us. Well, apparently you now have to be on the deed for six months to refi... so now we get to wait until FEBRUARY! UGH! We had to make a trip to our storage to get out winter clothes and some of our christmas decorations... when we first packed up we thought we would be here until October. yeah, that didnt happen!

    I do know it is all about trusting God's timing though. I have been needing a part-time job, and just as I stopped looking and stressing out... it literally fell in my lap. I know the house situation will work out the same way. I just need to be patient!

    Good luck! I know how stressful it can be to not have your own place, but its also so nice to have family around. I'm sure Jayci loves all of the attention!

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  15. oh Becca ... my heart hurts for you. i know how badly you want this, and i know how GOOD this would be for the neighborhood ... but i also know that God has reasons. just think if you were already living there, and the crackhead + his prostitute had broken into your house. there is some reason God is choosing to make this process longer, and i hope that He shows it to you ... or gives you peace about it. i'm praying for you.

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  16. I'm so sorry you're having a tough time right now. Buying a house in perfect situations is ridiculous hard, and when they throw in all the other problems, well, it's beyond hard. Just remember that this is His plan and it will work out in due time. Thinking of you all...

    Including your poor sister whose about to get a crash course in children. ;)

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  17. I'm so sorry girl. I'm definitely having one of those "down" weeks also. Thinking about you guys during this time!!

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  18. I pray everything will work out VERY soon, sooner than expected. :)

    I had to smile at the pictures of your girl. That was exactly how we would "dress" the kids when they played with paints when they were younger. And yes, for some reason, it was more fun for them to body-paint instead of putting brush to paper. :)

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  19. What a sweet picture!I can see how watching her would cheer you up!

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