Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Building Patience and Faith

 I need to remind myself this morning that sometimes it's more important for God to build my character than to give me what I want, when I want it. And not only that, but sometimes (ok a lot of times) I don't know what it actually best for me and for our ministry.

This entire past year has been one of those time, for realz. Because God has definitely been building my patience and growing my ability and willingness to wait on His timing. My timing? We would have been living in a house downtown at LEAST 8 months ago. But His timing says I still need to wait a few more weeks. Don't misunderstand me and think I'm all super-Christian and have this issue conquered, because I am clearly still impatient about the whole thing. But I HAVE come to accept that our ways are not necessarily His ways. And that His wisdom always outweighs my wisdom.

Apparently, however, I haven't learned that lesson deeply enough. Because there are MORE things in and about our house that we are realizing we are going to have to wait on doing (which may mean never doing because, hello, we're not exactly raking the money in with our ministry budget).

Like we would really like to have a fenced in back yard, because our neighborhood tends to have lots of stray dogs running around, some of which are pitbulls -- and I would love for Jayci to be able to play outside. Or it would be awesome to have a driveway. And we wanted to have a desk area in the kitchen with a computer that kids could come use to do homework etc. Or we would really like to have a garden and chickens and grow fruits and vegetables so we can do things like what our neighbor Tim is doing with his garden.  And we envisioned having a huge dining table with lots of space so we can always have our table full with neighbors and kids and friends who need a place to eat. And we even added a bar for more seating, and sort of assumed we could afford bar stools. Plus I was hoping for some appliances, you know so we can do laundry - not that I like doing laundry, but it tends to be a little essential.

I could keep going, but I think we will all be appreciative if I just stop there. But you get the idea, I think.

The truth is that I KNOW (in my head) that God is using all of this to build us, to develop our character, to teach us patience, to help us simplify, and for a million other reasons that I cant see right now . . . but I'm having trouble believing that and resting in that (in my heart).

When my friend Courtney was here this past weekend, we talked a little bit about praying with FAITH - about believing that God can and will answer our prayers. When I honestly examine my heart, especially about our house, I have to admit that I'm a little afraid to pray for things. Because what if the answer is no? Does it mean I don't have enough faith? Or just that God has other plans? Who knows, maybe He has someone who is going to give us a fence and that's why we aren't able to do it right now. Or maybe He is speaking to someone's heart who needs to give us some appliances, or who can donate cabinetry, or windows, or a dining room table. . . . My point is that I don't know. I can't understand or even fathom the Lord's ways and wisdom. So all I can do is trust. And rest in that. And have full faith that He has a plan, He is watching out for us, and we are doing all we can in obedience to follow Him every step of the way.

5 comments:

  1. "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." Mark 11:24-25

    "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, "Go throw yourself into the sea", and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him" Mark 11:23


    I'm waiting on God's timing for something to happen in my life too. I'm clinging to these words that Jesus spoke. I hope they bring you some encouragement too :)

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  2. i have learned time and time again that God's way is so much better than my way. even when i want to pitch a little tantrum over getting my way! we sold our house TWO YEARS AGO and have been sitting in limbo living in my husband's grandparent's old house. when he mentioned the words "two years" at the beginning of this venture...i cried. looking back now, it hasn't been all that bad. sure, having 5 different shag carpets in your house is not exactly what i'm going for in decor. dark wood panel walls, no ceiling lights, and kitchen cabinets that may or may not shut all the way wouldn't have been my first choice. but we have somewhere to live....and after my husband changed jobs about 1.5 years ago...there is NO WAY we could have afforded a mortgage. so now, i just patiently wait and i thank God for knowing what we needed more than i knew.

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  3. I needed to read this! Waiting patiently is so hard especially when our desires and timing seem so good and godly! Love y'all and know that He has it planned out perfectly!

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  4. It's a crazy thing, isn't it? Do I pray for what I THINK I need, or do I just pray for God's will to be done? And how do I live my life with any semblance of "normal" when I do the latter? One thing I do believe is that when you look back and can see the tapestry complete.. the one that is being woven now... it will all make sense. In the meantime, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8. Humble persistence combined with faith will get you there... (along with a few thousand prayers from your friends!)

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  5. God’s got you covered. Just keep believing in faith!!! Love ya girl!! :)

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