Friday, July 29, 2011

Places I never thought I'd end up . . .

Remember how I told you about the fourteen year old girl we were close to who is pregnant? And then remember how I linked up to this post on Katie's blog? Well a few nights ago, I woke up at 4am because I had to use the bathroom. This is basically a common and nightly occurrence at this point in my pregnancy. In fact, I pretty much have to pee ALL the time and am pretty sure I could go upwards of 28 times every day. That, however, is besides the point. The difference on this night is that my 4am bathroom break came with some persistent and nagging thoughts that simply wouldn't allow me to fall back asleep. Right before bed that night, Adam and I had been talking about Katie and her amazing attitude towards all the people who God had led her to take into her home. Wow, we said, she really gets it and is following Jesus even when it's messy. That's how we want to live our lives too, we decided.

Then in the wee hours of the morning as I climbed back into bed, I felt an annoying nudging in my spirit. I realized that, for two more weeks until our other "roommate/community member" moves in, we have an extra room in our house. And I suddenly knew we were supposed to offer this sweet girl a safe place to stay, even though it's only for a short time.

My immediate response was "umm no Lord." Because I'm about to have a baby. And we've been living with people for a year now, we haven't had any space, any margin, any freedom. And I don't love teenage girls. Well, I LOVE them, I'm just not great at interacting with them. I get all awkward and nervous and don't know what to talk about. Give me Zack and Sabo all day long and I'll talk and laugh and be fine, or give me little kids who I can play with and love on . . . but teenage girls (especially pregnant ones) make me feel like I'm in way over my head (which I am, as it turns out).

For the next hour, I wrestled with the Lord and reminded Him of all the reasons this was a TERRIBLE idea (most of which included my comfort). But through it all, I kept hearing a quiet voice reminding me "“I am entrusting you with much."

My wrestling included much tossing and turning, and at one point at about 5am or so, Adam asked me "are you ok?"

My reply? "I think we need to let Sharonda live with us." How's that for a 5am wake up call?

We prayed together and agreed to talk to her mom about it the next day. So today, we will go pick her up, and for the next two weeks we will have a pregnant fifteen year old (her birthday was last week) living in our spare room. Oh and somewhere in there I'm fairly certain we will also have our baby and hopefully close on our house.

Lest you think we are anything special or doing a single bit of this on our own strength, allow me to just confess that yesterday when we went to talk to her mom, I was thinking and hoping that maybe God just wanted me to agree to it and be WILLING to sacrifice my comfort for someone in need. Maybe He wasn't going to make me actually go through with it. But sometimes God has bigger plans, and sometimes we really do have to make sacrifices and do things we don't necessarily WANT to do in order to love those around us more fully, and to experience Christ more completely. And I know that the Enemy seeks to whisper lies that will distract us from doing God's work, to keep us focused only on ourselves and our own comfort.

But for this one time, like Katie says,
"I look up. And His voice is so much louder than satan’s. “I have entrusted you with much and I have demanded of you much. But only with me will your life bear much. So run. Run and run and run into my arms. Run. Run and run and run into this world sharing this story that has Me at the center. This making of disciples, it is my business. And I am with you always and my burden is light. I spill through your brokenness and I will be glorified. I promise. I will be glorified.” And that is all I want."

9 comments:

  1. Wow becca that's amazing. I think it will also be great for her to be able to interact with Caden (when he gets here) and know what it's like to have a little one around. What you are doing will be truly life changing for her.

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  2. I love your heart. I am going to ask Gary if we can let a pregnant teenage girl live with us. You inspire me.

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  3. I was thinking the same thing as MrsSouthernBelle, you may be the example she needs of what a loving mother and family looks like. She will learn a lot from you in her two week stay.

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  4. you change people's lives. i mean, really. think about it. you are an inspiration, becca.

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  5. we are in process of adopting a child or children from foster care and I keep saying I hope we get boys because I don't know what to do with girls...why do I suddenly feel like I will no doubt a girl or two?
    bless your heart and good luck to you!

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  6. That pesky voice. Dear me, Becca.. haven't you figured out how to tune it out yet? The rest of us have; whether it's by crankin' up the design shows on cable or tuning in to the latest "it's all about me" songs on the radio or reading the latest "empower yourself" book... well, we've got it down to a science. One that includes a special mirror that makes us look SO worthy. You? You sit and read WHAT? the BIBLE? AND you focus on those "go out into the world" and "love your neighbor like yourself" verses? Girl, you are SO old-school. And THAT is why I love you. I never have to wonder "what did Jesus REALLY look like?". Because all I have to do is to look at you and I know...

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  7. Our Lord rejoices when his children hear his voice and do as he asks! You and Adam are such a blessing. I love it when you share your heart. Many blessing to you!

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  8. Praise the Lord! Blessings on your week!

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  9. I love your blog! Just found it today. My husband and I are moving down-town this week to do incarnational ministry, and I'm so encouraged reading about your adventures.

    Also, I was excited to see that you're Canadian, as I'm an American living in your great country. Love your pics, your cute kiddies and your heart and humor!

    Amelia

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