Wednesday, August 24, 2011

For Jayci

Dear sweet Jayci,

I was afraid that one day you would figure out this internet thing and read this blog and think that Caden was all we thought about these days . . .And I want you to know, beyond every shadow of a doubt, that you are so so loved and cherished by your daddy and me. Every time you stayed with grandparents because Caden was in the hospital and we were visiting him, we told each other that we missed having you with us. Some of the sweetest times I've had in the past few weeks, times that have sustained my heart, have been times I spent with you. Snuggling together in bed, praying for brother, hiding in your tent, reading stories under the covers, making pancakes, drawing pictures . . .You are a continual source of joy and life for us, and we could not be prouder of the little girl that you are.
I can only imagine that some feelings of uncertainty and jealously come along with being a new sister. My mom (your oma) told me that after a few weeks of having auntie Sarah home from the hospital, I insisted that they bring her back. And because your brother has a very special heart, he needs even more loving care and gets even more attention, so I am sure you can feel that and I hope you know that you are every bit as special and important to us as Caden is.

Your heart is special too. I know because I see it every day. I see it in the way you hug me when I'm sad about Caden, and when you dance with your daddy in the living room. I see it when you hold "brother's" finger, and when you gently kiss the top of his head. I need you to know, sweet Jayci, that your daddy and I see your heart and we think it is beautiful.
When I see how grown-up you are, how much you've become a little girl and less of a baby, I feel a little sad at how fast things life moves. I can remember holding you for the first time like it was yesterday, and I have treasured every moment with you since then.

You are a bundle of energy and quite a mess sometimes, but I suppose that comes with the territory of being almost 3 years old. You are shy at first around new people, and I can see a lot of myself in your quieter side. It's a little disconcerting, really, to see pieces of yourself in someone else. And I'm praying every day that those parts of me that are in you will be parts that you can love and accept, even when you're a teenager and really, really, really don't want to be anything like your mom.

My biggest prayer for you is that you would be secure in Christ. That you would know who you are, how loved you are, how special you are. That you would see how carefully God crafted you, and our whole family, according to a perfect plan.
Speaking of plans, I'm pretty sure that God has some big plans for you my sweet little girl. I hope and pray that your beautiful heart will fall more and more in love with a God who can be trusted every single day. And I pray that these days, when life was hard because your brother was sick, will be a time that molds you and shapes you into something even more beautiful because it teaches you about Him.
Know that you are loved and cherished deeply by daddy and me. And that Caden is absolutely blessed to have you as his big sister. But more than any of that, we pray you will know that you have a heavenly Father who loves you and cherishes you and cares for you every single minute of every single day.
We love you beautiful girl,
Mommy (and Daddy)

11 comments:

  1. oh Becca ... so sweet. you need to print this out and put it in her baby book or a scrapbook or something. you are such an amazing mommy to such a wonderful little girl. <3

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  2. Becca, Jayci will cherish this! What a special mom she has.

    praying for you all.

    i just realized Jayci's name JC Jesus Christ...was that intentional?

    love to you all!

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  3. She is so precious.
    And so very, very loved!

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  4. Just read Mary's comment...and if it WASN'T intentional, then it certainly is a beautiful coincidence. What a precious thing you've just given to your girl. Do make sure that you save this... print it out now. The internet is fickle, and should something happen to your blog, this needs to be preserved. Sweet, sweet girl.. just like her mama.

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  5. So incredibly beautiful, Becca!!! Jacyi is so blessed to have you as her Momma!!! :)

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  6. I'm crying as I have with pretty much every one your posts lately. Jayci and Caden are so bless to have you and Adam as parents.

    Love you and continuing to pray for you.

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  7. Beautifully written. Jayci will love reading this one day!

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  8. Becca,

    You have a wonderful way with words. You have been a huge inspiration walking through this journey and holding so tight to our Creator. You should write a book about your experiences. I would be the first to read it. Glad you are all doing well at home!

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  9. The way you write is incredible. You are able to put your thoughts into words in such a beautiful way. I know it is hard to do these days, but I know you will be glad one day you documented all of this. You can look back and see the way God carried your family through, and you will be amazed at how strong you were. I'm sure you can't see it now, but we all see it!

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  10. Becca, my relationship with my mom is one that is most cherished. I hope that you and Jayci will be blessed with such a relationship. How wise you are to recognize the insecurities that may be growing in Jayci's little heart, and to reassure and remind her that she too is loved deeply and well. One day when she reads this, I hope she is bursting with pride to know that she is a part of a family that is beyond special.

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